April 2, 2009

FeAr & lOatHiNG in coLCheSteR

I am drawn to the work of the Neo-Expressionists such as Jean-Michel BasquiatJean-Michel Basquiat.. I have an affinity to strange faces and stranger facts. I also like the use of names that could mean just about anything, Like Gonzo Art and Neo-Expressionism. Hunter would be quite proud. These are names I can live with. Maybe it’s time to do a Fear and Loathing in Colchester.

Dr. Gonzo: Better be careful, plenty of vultures out here, they’ll pick your bones clean before morning.

Raoul Duke: You fucking whore…

Dr. Gonzo: Hee! Hee! Hee!

Dr. Gonzo: As your attorney, I advise you to drive at top speed. It’ll be a goddamn miracle if we can get there before you turn into a wild animal. Are you ready for that? Checking into a Vegas hotel under a phony name with intent to commit capital fraud and a head full of acid.

I ate as much acid as Hunter and never got famous, never could write on the stuff. Couldn’t paint either, although it did change my mind about what I might do when I came down which was five or ten years later. In reality, I think, I did know Hunters Attorney Dr. Gonzo (Oscar Zeta Acosta ala Benicio del Toro) He wrote a book called “The Revolt of the Cock Roach People.” It was about the East LA riots which was a Mexican version of the Watts Riots. I don’t think it even made the local papers. He took off to South America and word has it he was offed by the CIA. He probably got drunk and fell into a man hole or so his sister Annita sez. Benicio didn’t look a bit like him but he was square on in the acting department. I’m not sure whether it was five years or ten years. Time fucking flies when you are going places. Stopped some place around Reno (Fear and Loathing in Reno) for a Burger and stayed. They needed artists to do show changes and billboards. What a fucking trip that was. I was famous in my own mind. Had to stop drugs all together. I did a billboard “Our slots are Plum Crazy” with dancing mad plums with huge feet and crazy big eyes, doing a war dance around a “Giagantor” Slot Machine pooping out more mad plumbs. It won best of show in the Reno Addeys. I got a plaque. From then on I started flossing. Every Ad agency and Casino wanted me to go work form them. Never was good with forms so I freelanced.

Did lots of wild advertising stuff. The campaign of the year, one year, was the Ultimate Urban Cowboy Contest at the Shy Clown Casino. Coke, cowboys, and alcohol got big and I was cashing in. We got an electric bull and I got a cowboy hat with Dock Martins or Nikes, I forget. The idea was a bunch of stud full cowboys (Male Preferably) would strut their stuff on a stage with an electric bull and the Cowboyets would hoot and holler and the one who got the loudest hoots won. I got married and left her at home on the night of the contest. I got on stage and strutted my stuff and sure as you can say bull shit I won the contest in my Nikes and or my Dock Martins and all these women were pressing up against me pouring booze down my throat. Or so I thought. I rode the bull and got trampled to death and arose again. A news team from channel 8 caught it all on camera so the next day I was watching TV with my soon to be Ex-wife. We turned to channel 8 to catch the news and there I was in all my glory being stoked by a crowd of women and pummeled by an electric headless bull. I won the best campaign award and got a plaque. I lost all my teeth a few years ago. But I did get a new wife and an art studio in Connecticut.

Dr. Johnson: He who makes a beast of himself Gets rid of the pain of being a man.